Okay I didn’t know this was a post I was going to write but I need to vent I need to speak out because I have spent years suffering in silence. I have a shit tonne of health conditions, impingement and fluid on my knees underactive thyroid and most recently Endometriosis. I had my children very young, because of this I never got the excitement other people got, family members didn’t want to know but I had to just shrug my shoulders. Now because of this all I have ever known is to be a mom I left school and went straight into mommy mode. I adore my kids and that’s the reason I knew I wanted more! I do everything for them I haven’t even thought about myself in nearly 7 years nights out are a no go, I barely even get to go to the toilet in piece. That’s how I like things I love being a mom and I’m incredibly blessed to even get that chance.
I am still very young much younger than the typical mother and I have recently been confirmed to have endometriosis. This effects fertility (My underactive thyroid also effects fertility which is why we agreed to have our second as soon as we could) mainly the excruciating pelvic pain is nothing compared to the pain I have had to cope with mentally. Rewind 2 years ago: I got married I was in great health and wanted so much to have another baby. Mr wasn’t ready so I wasn’t going to be pressurising him into having a child he didn’t want. I waited and waited and last year we finally agreed to have another child, once I got better. After 3 operations in 12 months I now know I won’t ever get better I’ll only ever get worse(I’m having to race against my endo so that I am still fertile the clock is ticking and I don’t even know if it’s stopped for good). So we agreed to try for a baby(If by some miracle I can have one) We were supposed to start after my op by Mr wanted to wait until my post op appointment for the all clear, That’s not until the end of May/June so that was the final decision.